the|the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (6) Part one & Habit 1小结（周记） the7HabitsofHighlyEffectivePeople(6)

convey在序中说，书中的观点不是他发明的，他们都是通用法则和自然规律，他志力于让更多人知道这些不为人所知的“常识”。在读完第一部分和habit1之后的确是这种感觉，这些道理其实大部分人都知道。“知道”和“懂得”和”应用“有天攘之别。Convey在书中用大量篇幅，故事去解释一个个抽象概念，看起来很啰嗦。但从根本上让你明白了“常识”背后的理论基础，从而“相信”并“认同”这些理论，使其成为人生的导则。

一周小结

今天在得到上偶尔看到武志红心理学专栏的一篇文章《潜意识就是命运》，其观点恰好跟the 7 Habit的inside-out观点完全一致。武志宏说，我们的外在命运是由内心想象决定的，特别是我们潜意识层面的想像。如果你想去改变自己的外在命运，就需要去认识、去改变你的内在意识。
Inside-Out is a process -- a continuing process of renewal based on the natural laws that govern human growth and progress. It's an upward spiral of growth that leads to progressively higher forms of responsible independence and effective interdependence.

一、认识两个基础概念：

1. 潜意识和paradigm
《高效能人的七个习惯》全书的理论基础正是基于这样一条原则：inside-out，由内而外的改变。Paradigm这个词我一直无法对应到相应的中文，今天读到武志宏的“潜意识”这个词才豁然开朗。
As I researched and prepared these presentations, I became particularly interested in how perceptions are formed, how they behave. This led me to a study of expectancy theory and self-fulfilling prophecies or the “Pygmalion effect,” and to a realization of how deeply imbedded our perceptions are. It taught me that we must look at the lens through which we see the world, as well as at the world we see, and that the lens itself shapes how we interpret the world.

Convey说他意识到我们的意识是如此的深入内心，我们通过眼镜看世界，这幅眼镜决定了我们眼中的世界。而大多数我们是意识不到这幅眼镜的存在。
从paradigm的定义我们可以看出：若把paradigm解释为“潜意识”比“思维模式”会更容易理解，个人觉得更妥贴。潜意识是你的思维模式，你的思维模式与你的个性人格是不可分离的。
Our Paradigms are the way we “see” the world or circumstances -- not in terms of our visual sense of sight, but in terms of perceiving, understanding, and interpreting. Paradigms are inseparable from character. Being is seeing in the human dimension. And what we see is highly interrelated to what we are. We can't go very far to change our seeing without simultaneously changing our being, and vice versa.
2. 人格塑造 building character
作者在paradigm之后提出一个primary and secondary greatness概念。个人魅力（personality ethic)是次要，个人魅力比如沟通技能，虽然可以通过快速学习一些技能，但如果这些无法深入到你的人格中，最终的失败会代替短暂的成功。
真正第一位重要的是人格的塑造。
There are people we trust absolutely because we know their character. Whether they're eloquent or not, whether they have the human relations techniques or not, we trust them, and we work successfully with them.

二、潜意识的力量和人格塑造

Each of us has many, many maps（paradigms) in our head, which can be divided into two main categories: maps of the way things are, or realities, and maps of the way things should be, or values. We interpret everything we experience through these mental maps. We seldom question their accuracy; we're usually even unaware that we have them. We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be.

没错，paradigms是无意识，是我们内在的意象。我们态度和行为恰好来自这些内心的假想意象。
And our attitudes and behaviors grow out of those assumptions. The way we see things is the source of the way we think and the way we act.
由此可知：
1. paradigms是我们言行的源动力。

It also shows that these paradigms are the source of our attitudes and behaviors.
2. 如果我们不能审视我们的潜意识就想试图改变外在言行是徒劳的。
To try to change outward attitudes and behaviors does very little good in the long run if we fail to examine the basic paradigms from which those attitudes and behaviors flow.

3.我们意识到的“潜意识越多”，就会有更加客观的视眼。
The more aware we are of our basic paradigms, maps, or assumptions, and the extent to which we have been influenced by our experience, the more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test them against reality, listen to others and be open to their perceptions, thereby getting a larger picture and a far more objective view.

三、树立一个全新的观念：改变从潜意识改变开始

如果我们想改变人生，我们需要从paradigm,我们的潜意识，我们内在的意象入手改变
It becomes obvious that if we want to make relatively minor changes in our lives, we can perhaps appropriately focus on our attitudes and behaviors. But if we want to make significant, quantum change, we need to work on our basic paradigms.

四、个人成长的三个阶段

品格成于习惯，这正是这本书的主旨。个人的成长为三个阶段，在这三个阶段中我们要培养7大习惯。
思想（意识层面）决定我们的行动，行动决定习惯，习惯决定品格，品格决定命运。

the|the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (6) Part one & Habit 1小结（周记）

文章图片

文章图片
【the|the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (6) Part one & Habit 1小结（周记）】习惯：本书把习惯定义为知识，技巧和欲望的混合体，即“做什么，为何做”，“怎么做”和“想做”三个要素，缺一不可。

Habit 1 Be Proactive

实现独立人格有三个习惯：第一个习惯是be proactive
人生的选择是内在意象驱动你做的选择，而我们是有选择的自由。因为我们有自我意识，有想像，有良知，有独立意志。

文章图片
对于我们来说重要的是面对我们经历的事情如何做出选择，回应。应学会用积极的态度而不消积的态度面对问题和困境。
proactive people
1. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling.
2. Proactive people are driven by values -- carefully thought about, selected and internalized values.
3. Proactive people are still influenced by external stimuli, whether physical, social, or psychological. But their response to the stimuli, conscious or unconscious, is a value-based choice or response.

如何做到积极响应？
1. taking theinitiative 主动出击
“Taking initiative does not mean being pushy, obnoxious, or aggressive. It does mean recognizing our responsibility to make things happen.”

2. act or be acted upon 行动还是受限于人，化消积为积极
3. listening to our language
“Our language, for example, is a very real indicator of the degree to which we see ourselves as proactive people.”

4.面对三种不同问题，改变我们的思想模式
“Direct control problems are solved by working on our habits. ”

“Indirect control problems are solved by changing our methods of influence. ”

“No control problems involve taking the responsibility to change the line on the bottom on our face -- to smile, to genuinely and peacefully accept these problems and learn to live with them, even though we don't like them.”

“Whether a problem is direct, indirect, or no control, we have in our hands the first step to the solution. Changing our habits, changing our methods of influence and changing the way we see our no control problems are all within our Circle of Influence.”

5. Expand out circle of influence
6. the have’s and the be’s 从做开始
7. 从错误中学习 the other end of the stick
8. 信守承诺 making and keeping commitments
“It is here that we find two ways to put ourselves in control of our lives immediately. We can make a promise -- and keep it. Or we can set a goal -- and work to achieve it. As we make and keep commitments, even small commitments, we begin to establish an inner integrity that gives us the awareness of self-control and the courage and strength to accept more of the responsibility for our own lives. By making and keeping promises to ourselves and others, little by little, our honor becomes greater than our moods.”

9. 30的天测试